And then, there was harmony

And on days when there is true harmony, the writing goes to the book(s). Blogs must wait until another day.

Did I mention I was banned from the site with my "pals" that argue back and forth? Bitties! I could call them worse, but in the end, we're still on 2 or 3 other boards together and well, it's beneath me to get sooo nasty without being sanctimonious. I'm still focused on the other boards, the political ones and the African American board. I say that because they have actually had a topic about whether or not White people should be excluded from the site. Enter my sensibilities--wouldn't that mean that in some cases, one half or 1/4 or 1/8 of their own persons could not post? Yes, an affirmative. I just like the idea of countering prejudice with sense. Until it's gone, I'll continue just the way I have been. It's meaty and it loosens up my hands for the day, crippled and wilted from that damn disease. And I actually have to make a living with these things...unreal. Some day I'll ensure them for $500,000. Not a million because that's already overkill and passe for the Hollywonders that do that for their legs and other body parts. I'll just do it to do it...besides is it even possible that another part can break on these bones? I think I've covered all the bases as is.

That board is something else. I just stopped back there and yet again, another dagger comes out for the old girl. I just can't stand those convos that deviate from the topic and call me an Oppressor Lover. I mean, sure, I could be called worse, but by my own team? Hardly sounds fair though it is amusing. One the one hand, I'm the Angry Black Woman on White Message boards...they just can't handle the truth, I guess...but there is very little anger. It's mostly projection that they are misunderstanding. On the Black board, I'm the lover of the Oppressors, so Eurocentric I can't see straight. That's the belief. Never should have told them about that ring...now they can't forget it. Maybe I like walking that fence. Who knows? Maybe I'm amused that I confuse people that much. But maybe, just maybe I play the Devil's Advocate because I know it forces people to think on their feet and challenge their current belief system. They don't have to believe mine...not under any circumstance...but they can't very well stay stuck on stupid either. Not in my presence. It's holier than thou, sure...but hey, I wear it well.

At any rate, I'm getting tired of it all. These days I actually play a lot more than debate. I find time for debate sure, but I limit it considerably. It really isn't good for my health. So this week, I've stuck to simple issues and simple topics like the war in Iraq and this whacko trying to save his butt by lying and claiming he killed Jonbenet.

Ok..wasn't going to blog this, but what a sick bastard! He plays the pedophile role well, but when it comes to frying his ass in Asia, he opts for claiming he murdered and sexually assaulted a child that he did a term paper on to get into US prisons because what, they are a cake walk for sick puppies like him? I rad his resume the other day and HELLO red flag city on the pedo tip. I mean, this monster should have been in some prison a long time ago. His first wife was 13! That went out with Jerry Lee Lewis. And now, Nancy Grace has an entire week dedicated to him. Confessions of a killer with a damn question mark. When Nancy Grace isn't even calling him out, that's a sure sign there is a weak case somewhere. I'm as liberal as the day is long but pedophiles have no place in our society. I strongly advocate imprisoning them for the duration of their natural lives...and then 50 more years for their unnatural lives. Killing them? No...who's pain does that end?

I just think it's interesting...these pedos and serial killers. One group leaks them out the most. People think of the word pedophile and they see a 45 year old White man, don't they? They think serial killer and the same person comes to mind. When are people going to get that there is something seriously wrong with that picture? These scum are being bred by a nation that supports them. A nation that is fathering them and nurturing them. Yet...who are the ones that are villified? The Brown ones. Hardly seems right.

In TV land, I caught Spike Lee's Requiem on Katrina. It was done in 4 parts and I HATE that my Tivo didn't record the first 2. Apparently I had it set up to record anything he was noted as directing. I did this a month ago because the listing wasn't showing yet and I knew I would forget about it--lovely meds--and the purpose was to avoid all this and damnit if I didn't do it anyway.

I saw part 3 and spent the greater part of that hour in tears. I can't take sorrow in Louisiana. It's my birthplace and that's the blood running through these veins. I just couldn't take it...watching all those people, my fellow citizens, my sistas and brothers wading through water, criminalized and called refugees in their OWN HOMES and left to die. I never use the word hate in terms of people. It's far too simplistic and it's overused and doesn't convey the right emotion...but I can think of no other way to describe a President that would leave all those people to die.As we approach the one year mark--with very little having been accomplished in the Gulf, I know that I will never get the sound out of my head of a woman mourning the death of her 5 year old daughter who was washed away in the waters and not found for 6 months. I have a 5 year old. Washed away? A baby? And not found for 6 months. It was a scream and wail that came from her womb and made its way to the surface. It's one that every mother will hear and fall to her knees to pray to God she never ever feels what that woman is feeling. Ever. And a government that would allow it...allow those levees to be left as they were and left those people as they were BEFORE the damn hurricane...may God have mercy on their souls, because I sure as hell cannot.

So much for not blogging. I think I need to talk about Katrina more. I left Louisiana on a Sunday after burying my grandmother. Katrina came the next day. They say most everyone has PTSD from the hurricane. I had it before then, but after 9/11 and after Katrina, we are a nation of Post Traumatic Stress in varying forms of disorder. That's blogging tomorrow. Maybe I should stop over at my happy blog tonight and flip this up a bit. Must have the balance. Think I will.

Remember Katrina people. Remember that people aren't home yet. New Orleans cannot ever be the same without it's heart in place. It's heart is spread out across the US now. It must be repaired. It just must be.

Clearly, it's been a week.

It all started out fine, I guess...in the message board realm. No real wars. Well, until I stumbled back to a familiar stomping ground that is. Why I returned is something only a really bad therapist would answer.

I poked around the political threads, saw that a guy pal of mine joined in on a few pertinent topics while I was "away" and I added my own spin on the spin. This is the purpose of aforementioned message boards; to put your spin on some previous spin. That's what we do.

Some go to fight. Some go to talk. Some go to "make friends"...and for those sorry lots, bars are cheaper and the friends longer lasting. Mind you, read that sentence again. You don't go to a board to make a friend. It's the silliest thing to do in the world. What you will find is people you agree with, people you don't and those that agree with you ( altogether different than you agreeing with them--yes, you had to be there) and even those that will not, could not, in a house, with a mouse no matter what.

So when I see the topic of "What is assimilation", an alarm goes off in my head. You see, I've known this particular group for 3 years. We've been up and down every side of every story every which way but loose...and we still end up on boards together. There is something sick about that because most of us don't particularly like each other. Second alarm. Now...with the alarms already going off, I should run. I should head for a place where I know I won't have these conversations, and where I know I won't feel compelled to state exactly how I feel, where I can pre-type the replies to each of my posts hours before it pops into the heads of "some" because it's a subject I've covered again...again and again.

I'll pull out the Anti-Racist links. I'll pull out the Tim Wise articles because I know that people, well, some people respond better to hearing the exact same thing that comes out of my mouth when it comes from a White person's mouth. This is because the filters they use to listen to me are not alerted or turned on when they hear that other speaker. With me, they see my avatar a mile away. They know what I'm going to say and I know what they are going to say...so we dance.

Now, we all know my biggest peeve is lumping and labeling. It's not ok to say ALL White people or ALL Black people or ALL Hispanic people or Asian people especially since with the latter you are talking about MANY millions of people from DIFFERENT countries that speak different languages from even each other..yet we toss them into those comfy little boxes so our brains can digest them more easily. Making someone more palettable. No, I don't know how to spell that and spell check irritates me, so it won't happen.

So..I chime in. I urge myself and plead with myself to be patient. I beg and reason with myself to not give it straight no chaser but to say it softly...but that's just not me. I am straight no chaser. Hard up, against the wall, with a pillow. No, not dirty talk..get a bartender's guide and your mind out of the gutter. But, I digress.

My two cents was this: Assimilation is not insisted upon, it's forced. It's not assimilate to "MY" culture ( not meaning me MY )because I explain that culture has not yet been created. We're only so many years old. It's just not there. Even Apple pie and baseball cannot be claimed by us. Culture is expected but impossible is where I go. I persist. I say it's forced upon all of us. People will look at their neighbors that practice voodoo and scream change, CHANGE! or you cannot stay here...you most certainly cannot be American. These same neighborly neighbors will not stop at a library to read about voodoo....they will not learn that it's Christianity in another guise. They will call out aninal sacrifice as cruel and inhumane. Well, that's why they are animals, not humans. Sorry Peta friends. We eat chicken in drive thrus. We consume more beef than ANY place on the planet. We eat our animal sacrifices too. Just because we don't watch the slaughter video does not mean we are holier than thou. It means we are dumb. It means we are hypocrites.

I move on from my perspective..and no, I didn't lay it out like that above at all. I was a bit soft and it was solely an African American slant. Then...I took notice of the "new" forum. 25 new topics in a new forum called "Illegal Immigration"...are you kidding me? And they want to talk Assimilation with ME? LMAO!

The main arguments in the I.I. forum have been the same we hear on O'Reilly...I'm not allowed to watch anymore because he does horrible things to my blood pressure. A good Liberal would sue him. A good Republican ( oxymoron ) would simply urge their constituents to pass their new law, pushed and financed by their friends at so and so lobbying group so that O'Reilly can't air because he would be declared Anti-American and Anti-Patriotic for raising my blood pressure. Sure it sounds far-fetched...but I bet you don't believe they are holding American born Muslim citizens that happened to have Arabic last names in Gitmo either? Heck, for that matter...they don't care if they are Arab or not, Muslim is enough to condemn under this admin...but I digress AGAIN.

So I start talking about BWalters and the View and the touching of Black women's hair. It leads me to "professional" standards of beauty which turns into Eurocentric beauty ideals. I point out the very ways we force people to assimilate, not into American culture or into America as a nation, but into White culture and into close enough White folks in order to be acceptable. Of course, that's discounted. Who would believe such a thing? I'm called a racist several times. It matters not that I call no one else a racist and use the word on rare occasions so not to diminish it's power when it is used. I'm not judging White people because I said White in a sentence. But then...there's that Illegal Immigration thread. Yes...let's talk assimilation.

So I leave the post and head to the II forum. There I find a new argument over border patrol that shot an alleged drug smuggler but have now been convicted of crimes for not following border patrol procedures and for trying to cover up their crime. The thread creator first goes on the attack..."we have to stop illegals because they are all drug smugglers." Remember..I said White in a sentence. I point out the flaws in the argument. I also point to the fact that the border patrol involved have Hispanic last names...which doesn't neccessarily lend itself to their being Hispanic, but it's a decent conclusion. So there goes the "They are all drug smugglers" argument. They broke the law in shooting this guy. I don't want a drug smuggler here anymore than anyone else. So use the law to send his ass packing. The law. The very same law the agents should have been using. End of that thread.

Next comes the Cynthia McKinney story and a video about young Black girls and their ideas of beauty. In the C.M. story, the conservative spin is that she had racists and anti-semites on staff and they said anti-semitic words, loudly I might add and in front of a camera to someone. I never figured out who and it doesn't matter. To counter the story, a man that works in talk radio and worked on staff is there to talk about the brew haha--nope, didn't spell that right either. Coz is all I recall of his name. Coz was let go because McKinney did not succeed in her bid for her seat in the House. The staff was fired in a few shifts rather than all at once. Smart move. Some one has to pack. HELLO! McKinney is no stranger to news...recall the incident of her hitting a security guard on the Hill when he denid her admission to the building because he didn't recognize her new hair style..something I will discuss later about African American women, our hair and the way it's perceived by "some". She also stood alone in voting against the war in Iraq.

So, Coz explains that McKinney is not a racist, she is not an anti-semite, though she has been vocal in saying the US needs to stop supporting Israel now in this Lebanon thing. BTW--I agree. And no, I'm not an anti-semite and have removed my own mother from a family outing for saying such remarks that my children could hear about her Jewish ex-Dh. I simply do not tolerate intolerance. Whatever that makes me, it makes me.

Hannity--Coz is on Hannity and Colmes goes after the guy and asks why McKinney hasn't apologized for the remarks. Ummm...because she didn't say them and fired the guy that did. Fired the Black man that did. So much for that racist thing too. Well, the title of the thread was Cynthia McKinney is an Anti-Semite and fires a Jewish staffer. I said this all in the wrong order. Bear with me. I'm tired and under medicated. The thread starter posted an interview that came AFTER the Coz interview ( hmm..maybe I was doing this in chronological order, yes, that's the ticket)..so in the interview with the Jewish staffer he says that he doesn't believe Cynthia McKinney is anti-semitic and has never heard her say anything that would lead him to believe that. His bone of contention is that he was fired the day after he requested a Jewish Holiday off. That's his issue. Umm...he's an idiot. She fired her WHOLE STAFF! That would include him. If it happened to fall on a holiday, why would she want to pay anyone for an additional day they were taking off? Made no sense. I posted the Coz interview to rebutte the Jewish staffer fired premise.

So...moving forward by a day. There is another drama going on but I will spare the details. In the thread that features the video with the young Black girls, a 16 year old--as this is her production-- recreates the Clarke study that was done for the Brown vs. Board of education case 30 some odd years ago. She has 21 children, all African American I believe, and she tests them with two idential dolls, except for the fact that one was Black and the other White.

My heart broke when a 5 year old was interviewed. "Which doll is the nice doll"...the little girl picks up the White doll with glee, positive she has the right answer. Next question, "Which doll is the pretty doll", again, she picks up the White doll. Now...my heart sinks...I know what is coming and I've been a 5 year old little Black girl in America. The interview continues, "Which doll looks most like you," the little girl hesitates and struggles with her choice. She politely puts the White doll back down and looks at the Black doll, her eyes veering from the floor to the doll as she puts off the inevitable. "This one,"she says and she nudges the doll forward, not even wanting to pick it up. But that doll is her...and she knows that. I'm watching a little girl's first awareness that she isn't permitted to love herself and it tore me up.

I'm jolted back into reality by the posts that follow. Now, a few people on this board are NOT just permissive of White privilege. Not only do they not scream when I bring it up, but over the past 3 years, they have learned a great deal about it and about themselves and they make real attempts to be aware of the things that go on around us. I'm fully aware that these types of people are not a majority in this country. When the question of race ( a social construct, so far better to just say ethnicity) comes up, I have to endure the "ahh, the race card again" or "Why do we always have to talk about race" or "Who cares about race, it's 2006"..or my personal faves, "My great great grandparents immigrated here..they didn't own slaves and I don't owe you anything." Well, of course no one owes me anything. I'm pretty darn self sufficient and aware of the fact that class wise, I live better than the majority. I don't apologize for that and I don't expect anything.

But what I would like is understanding. It goes a long way. Rather than throw up those same lame tired unquotables, try a new twist at keeping White privilege alive or just wake up to it and be a part of something that levels the playing field for all so you don't have to feel as if you got where you are with no effort on your part. I never try to minimize an individual's work or progress by mentioning White privilege. Not ever. But I want them aware that in the same regard that they get certain things they aren't even aware of simply for being the ethnicity they are, there are others still that are purposefully and lawfully restrained simply for being the ethnicity they are. It's not fair that I've had to work twice as hard, for twice as long to get as far...but I was raised knowing I would have to. I don't "whine" about it, because like I said..I'm better off than the next. But I just want us to all be upfront about what's real here and what's not. No, great grand parents may not have taken part in slavery...but did they assimilate, assume the prejudices of another to blend and then accept White privilege and leave their own Italian, Irish, Welsh or what have you culture behind to be White? If so, yes, then they are part of the problem and not the solution.

I don't want guilt either. People on that board felt that some times I implied they should have "White guilt". Now, that's a new one for me. WTF is that? I've certainly never seen this in action and half of my family is White by birth and the other half now by marriage. Come on! No, I'm not pushing guilt. It's not productive. It serves no one. I want no part in that. I want part of solutions. I want part of acknowledgement. I want our differences to be not tolerated but accepted. I deserve that. Not simply because of my work and my laurels but because my Native American and African ancestors toiled their lives away without compensation and saw unheard of criminal acts and crimes against humanity that someone most certainly DID participate in...and in doing so, thus created a system by which their descendants could also profit from that toil of the slave and the disconnect of humanity, divided into social constructions of race. Yep..you are damned right. Go deep, do long, do what you gotta do but get on board.

Because here's the thing...we aren't going anywhere. There aren't many left, but my Native family is still here. My African family is still here. My Irish family is still here. We aren't going to leave and we aren't taking anymore free boat rides, so people have to get over this thing of living apart without each other. We can't do that. One better, the borders will never be strong enough to keep the original inhabitants of this land away from it. Ever. The Mexicans are coming folks. It's wise to embrace them. It's wise to mark your calendars because the date will come when the population will shift..and alas, that fear I spoke about for so long on so many boards will be realized...I think that fear is this..."Once we are a minority, will the old minorities treat us the way we treated them". I think that's the real thing on Illegal immigration. I've watched that bad boy come to pass in Texas.

On many other boards I have said that brown people and black people have a common place in the soul of mankind and in God's heart. This I know to be true. Once we all figure it out, we'll be that much better and that much stronger for it. Think of voting. Think of putting our candidates where we want them and electing them into the highest offices in the country. Think of the schools being equal from neighborhood to neighborhood. Think of children that speak 2 languages naturally and then can embrace a 3rd before high school and yet another in college..as those are requirements now. We can put America back into her place as first in every field if we so desire. We can do that with our hands, fingers laced one with another, working for the same goal. We can do it all and show people how it should have been all along.

Then we can answer that fear and say with much conviction, "Hell no...we would never treat people the way we have been treated because we know what that can do to a peoples."

Stereotypes and then some

So on a message board I frequent, the topic of stereotypes came up. One of those listed was that "certain" folks aren't intelligent. Another was that "certain" folks don't read. Well, they are stereotypes. There is likely some tidbit of truth at their core, but they can be spread across humanity, every ethnicity and truth can be found when limiting the group to a smaller sub group, etc, etc blah blah do dah.

Well, I came across an article called "Black Like Them". It was about West Indians and their treatment, acceptance and role in discrimination of African Americans that are native to the country. I asked a series of questions, focused them around the aritcle and urged everyone to read the article and let's talk about it. I get 20 replies. Their answers. "Yes, they are black". Hmmm. Not what I asked. What I asked what this:Are West Indians and Jamaicans Black (African American)?

Are they treated the same as African Americans?

Does their treatment from others change after they are 1 or 2 generations removed from the West Indies or Jamaica ( read any other locale as well)?

Do these immigrants to the US believe themselves different than African Americans born here and descended from slaves? Should they?

After reading the article, did any of your perspectives change or were they supported?

I wanted to talk about what the article said about "certain other" people hiring people from the Ghetto they didn't know vs the Ghetto they did know. To that, these employers would rather hire people that live distances further away from the place of employment because they felt it improved the quality of applicants. Racists and disgusting, but this is part of the article. It said much more than that and I found one of the studies done that supported the authors perspectives. I wanted to get into the meat of the discussion. Do we allow our differences to divide us? Do we give permission to "certain other" people to have basis in their prejudice by assuming us to be different from the lot or somehow not like the rest.

Most of us have heard that from time to time. "You're not like other "certain" people" It's bs. We know it when we hear it and it tells us more about the person saying it than they care to admit. I wanted to discuss it.

Instead, I got anger. I received "I'm not reading the article, but yes, we're all the same". Damnit anyway. We give credence to stereotypes everyday. People are always watching. Someone is always paying attention to things we do blindly and unconsciously. We have to be more conscious. It's not even a thought...we have to. Two people did read the article. Their responses were dazzling and they found the original article as amazing as I did. Informative and shocking were my words. The authors last sentence was profound and prophetic. We have to be leery of giving into "certain" things because as the author puts it, "In the new racism, as in the old, somebody always has to be the nigger." Uggh. It's worth the read. Check it out.


http://www.gladwell.com/1996/1996_04_29_a_black.htm Article

The View can just suck it

Well, I can't think of another jab that will really explain how I feel more than that. I wrote a letter. Perhaps I'll print it here and you'll see my concern. Hmmm...

To: ABC, Disney, Robert Iger



Dear Mr. Iger



Last week, a friend emailed me a link to a video clip of the opening segment of The View the featured comedienne, Mo’Nique. My friend’s email, simply said, “How much are we as Black women going to tolerate?” I opened the link and my jaw sat open as I watched the co-hosts, led by Barbara Walters humiliate Mo’Nique by calling her children creatures and then clasp hands with each other as Barbara said “You all come and go but we stay here.”



Now there are many ways to interpret that. Ms. Walters could have been referring to Mo’Nique merely as a guest host. She also could have been referring to Black women as co-hosts and guest co-hosts. It really doesn’t matter how she intended it, but more how it came across and that was evident by the droves of audience members that sat quietly while only a few applauded. That spoke volumes considering the demographic of the audience and if it offended them, and caught them off guard, how do you think it came across to Black women? It was appalling. But it got much worse.



On a public message board, I found thread after thread examining the show's treatment of African American women. There, I found additional clips of Brandy and Tanika Ray during their appearances on the program. During their visits, Barbara has felt it necessary to degrade them by asking them if there hair was real and worse still, put her hands all through their hair to examine it herself. I would urge you to go through the entire video library of this show and demonstrate Barbara Walters touching the hair of any White guest. I would urge you to find one of her asking if their hair was real. I thought ignorance at that level was something that disappeared with Diversity training classes that companies like ABC and Disney invest millions of dollars in. If you don’t invest that, perhaps this is as good a reason as any to start.



Over the past 2 days alone, I have had my email box flooded with links to all of these video clips and comments full of disgust directed at Barbara Walters, Bill Geddes, Joy Behar, The View and ABC. Larger organizations are currently planning boycotts of all of your products from all of your subsidiaries. It goes without saying that I’m sure your ratings reflect that Black women have turned the channel during the hour when The View is on in our neighborhoods and many are sending letters to rumored guests to appear on the show urging them to show their solidarity and disgust by not appearing on any stage with anyone that would touch their hair for their own test of authenticity.



Offenses such as these wouldn’t be tolerated in your corporate offices and shouldn’t be tolerated on any level for anyone. In fact, had any corporate employee done any of the things that Ms. Walters has done, they may well be job hunting by now to avoid potential law suits on the basis of discrimination. The kind of ignorance it takes to put your hands on another woman and run your fingers through her hair and the audacity to ask if it is real speaks only to the most disgusting members of our society. What should we expect next? Will Ms. Walters be asking Black guest hosts to shine her shoes or tap dance for her? Barbara Walters has offended and hurt many viewers with her actions and that should be apologized for and atoned for. Tolerating insensitive actions such as these have halted our society’s progress on ethnicity, religious, and gender tolerance. In 2006, it is NOT ok to continue to let those incidents slide and think no one will notice.



Until very recently, I have been a loyal viewer of ABC’s The View. The program was just the right mix of humor, current political discussion, entertainment and provided me a great break from full time stay at home motherhood while my children napped, played and readied for their day. Before their births, when I was on bed rest, the show became a regular part of my day and I welcomed the co-hosts and their personalities into my home. For 9 years, I’ve enjoyed this program but over the past few weeks, that loyalty has quickly turned into disgust.



I think ABC drastically under estimated the viewers intellect during Star Jones’ departure. For her commitment to the show, she was rewarded with disloyalty from ABC and it goes without saying from Barbara Walters and Bill Geddes. That she chose to announce her exit on her own terms was met with something I’ve never seen before even on the worst of reality shows in the character, rather lack of character displayed by Barbara Walters the next day when she and her co-hosts made light of Star’s departure and then further attempted to humiliate her by not allowing her to finish out the week. All because she didn’t make her announcement on the day ABC told her to do so. That was shameful.



I respected the fact that Star Jones didn’t get into a mud slinging contest but in watching bits and pieces of the programs since, I have seen mud come from the other co-hosts and that includes Barbara Walters and most certainly Joy Behar. This says nothing of the fact that Meredith Viera was being replaced with a woman that was more than vocal about her disdain for Star Jones and dared to criticize her for her “honesty” and timing in being forthcoming about her weight loss surgery. A woman, Rosie O’Donnell that saved her own shocking announcements for the days after her own television show ended. You should know by now that even segments of the public, myself included, that enjoyed Rosie O’Donnell’s show were shocked to here of her hiring and even more shocked that ABC must not be aware of Rosie’s blog where she, on a daily basis, chronicles her rants against the President, the media, other celebrities and anyone she can think of, yet she cast the first stone at Star Jones. That hiring spoke to the character of ABC and Disney and made clear their bottom line was essential to pit two lesbians (Rosie and Ellen) against each other in a run for an Emmy and that more care and focus was on that than on honoring loyalty of viewers and Star Jones. For that reason, even on Rosie’s blog, people have been very vocal in saying they will not be watching The View in the future.



But this is not about Star Jones at this point for me. It’s about offending and wounding an entire segment of the population.



If I am to be honest, I would say that I do not have any negative wishes for the show, but having been an Executive and having worked in the Entertainment industry for a number of years, ABC is making some serious errors in judgment that foretell of a 10th season, mid-season, cancellation due to lackluster ratings.



I do hope this email reaches someone that actually cares about daytime programming as well as decency and has some authority with Disney and ABC. I am forwarding these concerns to as many Civil Rights organizations that will hear them and an email list and message board distribution list that puts most TV show ratings to shame. At least then, no one can say they never knew about these complaints as an excuse for not acting on them.



Sincerely,

The Source

But ok, I didn't really say The Source. I'm thinking that scares people. They think I'm a leak to gossip columns. I used to do that sort of thing in my teens, but I haven't since my fake ID finally caught up to my real age and that was decades ago. So I'm putting my disdain on blast. Barbara Walters--all respect gone. Joy Behar--turns out, you were just a receptionist after all. Elizabeth Who?--and sadly, that's how they'll remember you. A weird trivia question and another sting on the Style network and still, no one will recall your name. You'll be doomed to be 'The other one' forever. Star Jones--Now, girl, you knew better. Some folks, not saying which folks, but some folks do not like to see successful African Americans, much less African American women. It reminds them of the unspoken, unthought of, the hush that is privilege of flesh tones. It reminds them that they had all the opportunities in the world and they still couldn't pull off a million dollar wedding. For shame! Meredith--You got out just in time. I'm going to gush over Matt now. Oh hell, I alreaday went through that phase. I must be getting old.

American Idol...Who?

So my friend Debbie calls me up a few weeks ago. I haven't heard from her in awhile and we've been friends since far enough back in the gap to call it back in the gap. She says, "Girl, turn on American Idol." I flipped the TIvo to livetv and Prince was on. Is nothing sacred? My only comment is at least he stayed true to who he is. He finished the set, turned around and walked off the stage, without letting a single "Idol" sing with him or even hum along. That's so him. He hasn't changed since the last time I saw him. He never will and most would agree, he shouldn't.

SNL doesn't know how accurate they pegged him, but I do.

A Piece of Cake, by Cupcake Brown

RUN out and buy this Sista's book. Not because she is a sista, but because it's a book worth reading. Then pass it on to anyone you know, especially our younger generation.



Cupcake had a hard life, but who hasn't? Thing is, she overcame. She found her mother's dead body when she was only 8 or 9, was sent to foster care and left to their abuses, ended up gang banging and using every drug imaginable and she made it out and all the way to her JD ( Lawyer). This book is about overcoming obstacles and I swear to you, if there was hope for that 8 year old child, there is hope for you too.

Will post more later...have to do the real gig now and get some work done.

You aren't Black enough unless you are Black like me.

That was the actual conversation that I had recently on a new message board that I joined. The message board audience is Black folks. Not some, not most, but Black people. I say this because there was even a thread dedicated to whether or not Whites should be allowed to join. Welcome to America. You do it to us and sooner or later we will do it to you.

See, I don't subscribe to that philosophy. All the while I'm sitting back enjoying the Immigration debate, eating my popcorn watching the politicians dance, I'm thinking it's all about fear. White people are afraid of that crystal globe they live in, that most refuse to even acknowledge they live in, somehow tumbling to the ground and crashing into 1,000 shards of glass that cannot be pieced back together. It's a fear driven rebellion.The bottom line is that it's a mentality of " I don't want you to come in here and replace me or treat me as I have blindly or not treated other people in the past".

This issue always comes up when conversations of Reparations come up. No one wants to cough up an extra 10 cents on their tax dollar to live up to a promise made to the descendants of slaves. The stand by is "Well, my grandparents didn't own slaves," or "But, my ancestors immigrated here. They weren't a part of that." It's funny because everyone jumps up and down proudly to say their ancestors fought in the Civil War--or any other--but they refuse to take responsibility for the fall out. A fall out that they actively play a role in through White privilege. Yep, another topic that I'm too tired to explain. The bottom line is that though you may not call someone the Nword, you may not tell someone they cannot have a job because of the color of their skin, you may even be a card carrying member of the NAACP ( but, I doubt it) but everyday you participate and accept the benefits of White privilege. You cannot help it...or can you?

The truth is that you can, if you will walk away from avoiding White guilt, step away from the will to use the term Race Card and examine the concept. There is a great piece that I've often shared on Message Boards by joan olsson called "Detour Spotting, for the anti-racist". I'm telling you, I love this piece. Read it here:

joan doesn't spell her names in capitals because she's a fem and saying something to the establishment. Anyway, read it and see if you can't spot just about every White person that claimed they were color blind. It floored me because they were all accounted for in her account.

So back to the story at hand...on White websites, I'm the Angry Black woman, a myth I've already debunked. On this website, I'm labeled a White sympathizer. How twisted is that bullshit? All the while I'm in agreement and sharing my thoughts, respectfully, I get called names regularly and have one particular fleck of dust on my jacket that doesn't know his/her own hypocrisy from their stank breath. It's ridiculous actually, yet I keep going back for more. LMAO! I think it's hilarious and sad in the same breath.

Most of the people on this site are of the consensus that ALL Whites are evil. While I will admit that even I consider most White people to be oblivious to their own White privilege and their own ignorance regarding race, evil? Nope. Wouldn't be me painting a picture of everyone with that same broad stroke. For the simple reason that I wouldn't want it done to me. I don't subscribe to the "You aren't Black enough unless you are Black like me mentality." I think that creates a bunch of wackos singing the same tune with little understanding of the lyrics. I don't play it on the White side, so why would I play it on the Black side? I wouldn't. I don't play elementary school yard games. I don't give a damn if I'm picked last for Red Rover. I am intelligent enough to make a game of my own and I can play all by myself. Happily! At least I know I make sense to me.

Ain't I a woman?

Well, I could have asked it any number of ways. I could have given it over to Sojourner, but, well, that's not who *I* am, that's who she was. I can say "Am I not a woman". Her life made that possible. Some get it, some don't. I don't have the patience to explain today.

I'm in full on writing mode. A little of this, a little of that and a whole lotta something. I'm flying on the cusp of the break out and just dotting those I's and crossing some T's.

I'm reading a few books this week. Groove by Bernice McFadden under the nic Geneva Holliday and If you come softly by Jacqueline Woodson. The latter is a book club selection that was chosen out of a debate about whether or not minorities can be racists from a message board I belong to. My opinion is simply no, they cannot, but that's another day. They can be ignorant, prejudiced and on a much smaller scale can even play a role IN racism, but they cannot be racists. Again, that's another post to explain and I'm just not in the mood to get into it. It's definitely not a topic that will get me into Real Simple, but you never know. That magazine doesn't really have Black women as a demographic and even with the small nods to diversity they use in articles about hair cuts and best friends, I just don't see their audience as having the stomach for the convo. I might be underestimating them, but I think the message boards are a microcausim of our society. A tiny little cross section of America. They weren't ready for it either. LOL!

So the books...I am having a hard time figuring out which one to concentrate on so I'm reading both at the same time."Softly" is a young reader book but it deals with Interracial love, young love rather and the many complex issues that accompany it. It was a light read to give some of the members of the board a glimpse into that reality. It wasn't my suggestion, nor my first choice, but it will definitely do. Within the first few pages, I'm already taken with the story. I will probably complete it tomorrow and then I will post more about it and Groove. Stay tuned.

The Angry Black woman: A Myth

The Angry Black woman: A Myth
So I was just over running through the posts on the various boards and came across a post that read as follows:
Quote:
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I have been watching many of the reality shows and have realized many of the black women on the shows have anger issues. Now is this a truth or is this just the way they are portrayed? Please, I do not want this post to have any racial connotations at all. I truly want to understand and am asking out of compassion for all woman and our issues no matter what color.
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My first thought was that you don't ask a question about "Black" women, excluding all others and then qualify that by saying that you don't want it to have racial connotations, it absolutely does. However, the question remains and casting agents are looking for it...does the 'angry black woman' exist?

My first response is you damn right she does. As does they angry lesbian of any race, the angry white woman, the angry Jewish woman, the angry Italian woman and shall we not forget the Fiesty Hispanic woman. She exists because women are multi-faceted and entitled to their feelings, whether it be anger or joy or anything in between.

Is every Black woman more angry than any other woman? No, I don't think so. Do we, as Black women have cultural differences that people from other ethnicities mistake for constant anger? Without a doubt.

A few years ago there was a series of books called "Why Black men tend to shout". The premise was that cultural differences make Black men seem stereotypically more angry than any other, but in reality each person is quite individual and while speaking louder, being aware of racism and therefore sensitive to it and having it more identifiable to those that experience it more often is something that makes others believe that Blacks are just angry.

Are Gay people more sensitive to hearing slights that others perceive as just being inquisitive? If someone approaches a Lesbian or Gay man and says something like "Which one of you is the woman", it's something that has been discussed in their community. Joked about and sometimes the focus of anger at ignorance, and for this reason it doesn't come across as an honest question. It comes across as something that an ignorant, less tolerant person might say. It happens when people assume that Native Americans and the Irish are all drunks. That isn't a fact. Certainly not every Indian or Irishperson drinks at all. But people fall prey to stereotypes.

Black women, in my opinion, are the same as every other woman. We all have had our crosses to bear. We have shared most of those facing the oppression of ourselves and our sisters. The difference with Black women is that we have had to fight other stereotypes, prejudices and all out falsehoods more often for much longer than some of our peers in this country.

I believe the stereotype of the Angry Black woman came as a result of slavery. We don't commonly read about African women having a notorious anger streak. It's only in this country and others that have our same history that we find this belief. It begs the question: Where did it come from and who benefits from it?

When we ask that question, we have to go back to the origins of our country. We have to go back to a time when the wife of a plantation owner risked sharing her husband with a slave. She risked the value of her children being equated with the children of slaves and her husband. Distance had to be placed....and stereotypes ensued.

Back then, the African American woman was considered to be evil. No other word for it. A slave woman that practiced her own religion or exhibited any form of self preservation or risked her life to save her family would be labeled to keep her 'in her place' in respect to other women. Thus, a woman that went ballistic as her children were being ripped from her arms and sold to another family or whomever was the angry Black woman. Her emotions were not considered to be normal because by definition ( legal definition in this country and others) she was not even human. So how could whatever she was doing be considered normal?

Had White women of the time faced the same fears of having their families torn apart, we would have seen that women, regardless of ethinicity respond the same way when attacked or in fear of the safety of their young. I am certain that they would have been kicking and screaming to keep their family together. Then it could have been 'normal' and not just a behavior limited to Black women, the slave woman.

If we try to imagine how a woman might feel in the days and weeks after her child ( ren) were sold on an auction block out of her arms, we can imagine that she was resentful. We can assume this because we know that that African American women are the same as any other woman and that they are, indeed, human. Perhaps she was cruel to the mistress of the home, thinking that another mother would understand her pain and try to have prevented it. Perhaps she acted out in various ways to express her anger, holding back just enough to stay alive.

Now, fast forward 120 years. Aren't her children still at risk? There is a well known saying in the Black community that when a young man turns 18, he has two choices in life; jail or the military. While the opportunity has leveled out, the means to get that opportunity have not found complete and absolute equality among races.

We know that minorities are still the majority residents of impoverished neighborhoods. We know that the schools in these areas are sub par, for the most part with less access to technology, outdated materials and yes, even prejudice in the schools.

Now, there are hundreds of thousands of teachers that work in these schools because they want to see all children have opportunity and they truly want to see all of them succeed, but we cannot forget that prejudice exists everywhere and in all. For that reason, we also have to consider that some teachers and other figures of authority do not want all people to be considered equal. Even those that do would shake at the prospect of their son or daughter coming home with a mate of another race. It wasn't that long ago that these matings were illegal in this country, only 3 years before my birth.

There are also still natural predators. Oh, I know some might scoff at the mere mention of racism in the police force, but statistics are against them. National polls show that racial profiling is not on the decline. Young Blacks get a record number of non-moving violations compared to their white peers. What this means is that they are being stopped by the police until a crime is discovered, not because one has occured.

For this reason, every Black mother I have ever met has to give her children an additional set of rules, this on top of what every mother teaches their child. These rules are how to behave when stopped by a police officer to avoid being mistaken for someone else or killed. This is when a Black mother must teach her child to work hard, as every mother does, but the disclaimer is that she tells her children they must work twice as hard, for twice as long to get half as far, as this is still the society they live in. She makes sure they know that they will live under a microscope. The things they do wrong will be attached to their entire race.

This is exemplified by looking at the worst of the worst in our society, murderers. When Jeffrey Dahmer was convicted of cannibalism, murder, kidnapping, sodomy, rape and a host of other crimes, never was he linked to ALL White men. Never did people shy away from ALL white men because of this one man's actions. On the flip side, when a Black person commits a crime, it is seen as a reflection on the ENTIRE population of Blacks.

When someone crosses the street when they see a Black teenager approaching, they aren't doing so because they fear THAT individual, but because they fear the stereotype linked to that entire group of people.

Another comparison can be seen in the Mother killers, which have been overwhelming White. Susan Smith and Andrea Yates were never seen a a reflection of all White mothers. They were seen as anomalies, crazies that were a departure from the norm. On a smaller scale, one looks at Omarosa from Survivor and Coral from Real World and they are free to link their behavior to all Black women and label them the "Angry Black Woman.

While Black women do on a large scale carry what I consider to be a heavy load with the responsibility for their children and themselves, White women carry the same load. The only difference is the fear from prejudice. Any woman with any shred of tact and decency does not go off on a stranger for no reason. There is no study to say that any one ethnic group of women does this more than another. With reality tv, we have to understand that this is for entertainment and is exploitive to all women to label them this way.

Omarosa was not cast just because she was qualified for the show, but also because she was a Black woman and also because she had a propensity towards exhibited confrontation. Many of these reality tv shows use the Myers Briggs test and other psychological evaluation to cast their shows. In doing this, it is easy to find polar opposites and place them together in circumstances that are bound to erupt. It is purposeful and it is targeted and it is something that all of us should say NO! to.

When we see a tv show that depicts a stereotypical Gay man exhibiting all of the negative and false behaviors linked to them through ignorance, we have to ask ourselves if that is truly that person or if the Executive Producer is trying to spark up their ratings. We have to ask ourselves if we would respond the same way in that circumstance. We have to ask ourselves if we are being manipulated into believing false stereotypes and sometimes, we have to turn off the television and stop supporting the exploitation of our fellow man/woman.


Just another long thought from Dyna....

Who's to say if someone is Black or White or PURPLE??

Who's to say if someone is Black or White or PURPLE??
There is a woman on a show that I watch that is Biracial. A trip to the message boards about the show reveals how much hatred and bigotry is still running rampant in this country. One of the topics led me to ponder how Biracial Americans view themselves and define their cultural identity.

The first issue that focused on her was the question of "What is she"? I think the posters are looking for her racial identity. WHen I hear this, I'm divided on the subject. My first instinct is to think we should live in a world where it doesn't matter. But, I know that it does. Then I wonder if people mean, is she black or white. Well, she is both.

Regardless of how she identifies herself, she is Biracial, part White and part African American. I don't even like saying that because both of those halves are made up of likely many ethnicities. She could be a bit Greek and a bit German or some Irish or some Native American. We are more than those labels.

It seems that there is some truth to the thought that Biracial people walk a thin line between both Blacks and Whites, but I think they fit in both and on their own as multiracial people. Whereas, I have witnessed for myself the pressure that African Americans place on Biracial people to identify themselves as being African American, I rarely have seen Whites look at someone like Halle Berry and ask, "Why doesn't she say she is White"?

However, when Mariah Carey came out with her first record, most African Americans ( as written in articles and discussed widely after an appearance on the SOul Train Music awards) knew that she was at least part African American and thought she was distancing herself by not saying that she was Black. Was she? Shouldn't she be able to be Biracial and call it a day?

The One drop rule in this country says that she cannot. With one drop of African American blood in her veins, she is Black. What I don't understand is why the reverse isn't true. If someone has one drop of White Blood in them, why aren't they to be considered White?

Just things that make me go hmmmmmmm....

Read Child of God, by Lolita Files

I just finished reading Child of God, by Lolita Files and it was a great read. It kept me turning pages deep into the night until I had completed it in its entirity. I really enjoyed the flow of the book. I just cannot believe it took me this long to hear about this writer. This is her 5th or 6th book. Previous works include, 'Tastes like Chicken',

I do not think that anyone but Shakespeare could pull off a story with this much of the drama; incest, rape, murder, abuse, homosexuality, and intrigue, but Ms. Files gives it a try with this tale. It was seamless. Relative to Shakespeare, there is more than just a bit of similarity. Files even throws in a Hamlet and an Ophelia for effect.

The cast of characters in the Boten family is a bunch of mixed nuts. There is the crazy aunt from Louisiana, of course--aren't we all Voodoo princesses with snakes on our necks!-- that casts spells and curses on members of the family. There is a brother and sister that don't seem to know wrong from right and it almost hurts you to want to tell them the truth because Files has made them so endearing to the reader. There is pain and there is tragedy, but I think you leave the tale more compassionate than when you started. One can never just look at a person and know their story. If you look to deeply, you might be surprised by what you find.

Debating about starting the Sister Souljah book, 'The Coldest Winter Ever', tonight. I have never read any of her books, but I did catch a clip of Jada Pinkett Smith recommending this particular novel. Now, the Sister Souljah I remember was a militant from the late 80's that was a frequent Geraldo guest on the shows with the Klan. You remember, when the chairs would get tossed across the room Pre-Springer. I don't actually recall if she was in anyone of those battles, but it was the era just the same. Talk show hosts were never able to wrap their mouths around her name and purposefully/mistakenly called her "Sista Soldier".

Now she did fit the description if I recall. I don't remember everything about her, but I do remember boots and leather. I think I was sportin' biker shorts and neon sweaters at the time, though. It was "Ain't too proud to beg" in those days...but believe me, I was far too proud. Still am. What I do remember is that she had the most perfect set of lips I had ever seen. They were full and round, pouty and proud at the same time. Hmm, was that when we lined our lips with black liner??? Did she ever do that? Uggh, did I?

Her topics back then centered on Black empowerment and I wasn't really ready to hear all that. I spent my youth listening to my father's lectures. I knew all I needed to know about Black empowerment...or so I thought until I took my first Black History course in college, back in 1992. When I got my first essay back, I remember being so pissed at myself and the instructor. How does a Black woman get a B on an essay on the Civil Rights movement? I still think he was just pissed because I was down on the people that led the movement, thinking they fell apart in the 80's and 90's. Alas, there was Sister Souljah, bringing it back to the forefront.

I wasn't listening though. What I was listening to was Prince, because I lived somewhere between Paisley Park and Glam Slam back then, rarely seeing my own apartment. I used to bring my clothes for the club to work with me and dress in the bathroom after my shift at the Record Shop and do my make up on the way to the club. Always arriving fashionably late, but fashionable just the same. I would stay out until the club closed, head to Paisley for the after party and make it home when the sun came up, just in time to catch a cat nap before I had to be at the Jewelry store, or shoe store or card shop...whichever it was that was filling the time until I went back to the Record Shop.

I was still coming down from the California move with my girls where we were just into peace, love and happiness. This story will have to wait for the memoir, which is nearly completed. All this is reminding me of the sounds of the day, though.

Music to drive across the country to:
1) Sisters of Mercy-This Corrosion
2) Violent Femmes-Blister in the Sun
3) Bob Marley-All of the Legend album
4) The Doors-Entire collection, especially Break On thru which is what was playing when we arrived in L.A.
5) De La Soul- Me, Myself and I
6) Maxi Priest- Close to you ( OOOH how I loved that man-wonder what he looks like today)
7) Wilson Philips/EnVouge- Hold On ( completely different songs)
8) Pop will eat itself and S'Express from the Club mixes
9) The Cure- Entire collection
10) Prince- Entire collection


Ahh, the days of wild!

Blue Contacts

Some essential truths; women like to look good. Women like to try new things. Women like accessories. I’m a typical woman and I like looking good, trying new things and I love accessories. If it hits the cover of a magazine, and I find it appealing and fitting for me, I’m going to run out to eBay ( because I’m cost conscious) and find it. There is one thing that has alluded me since I was a Tween though; colored contacts.

When I was in my early 20s, everyone had a pair. I used to hang out in the clubs and we did trends. It was important to have style, your own style and to look FABULOUS! Part of that fabulous at the time was having colored contacts. Everyone did it. Celebs, Moms and Pops, and the girls in the clubs had a set for every day of the week. Hazel, Blue, Green, Brown, dark brown, we changed our allure with the wink of an eye.

But there was on thing holding me back then, money. I didn’t have a lot of it and what I did have was spent on buying new outfits to wear to the club each night. Mind you, there was rent to be paid, but lucky me, my parents helped out a lot. I was in school and I was spoiled as all hell so the rent got paid…most of the time anyway.

Fast forward 15 years, I’m 35 years old and people are still wearing colored contacts. They’ve expanded the line and you can have purple eyes if you want. You can buy the cat’s eye that Michael Jackson wore in the Thriller video. No one is going to speak to you, but you can buy them at will. However, I can’t and the reason is complex and maybe even self imposed.

You see, I’m a black woman. I’m a Black woman married to a White man. There are enough connotations to that and I deal with enough judgements and stereotypes that I don’t often just walk right into one only to be peeled apart layer for layer because of it and just the act of buying a set of colored contacts would do that.

I fear the reaction from Sistas, to be honest with you. Because of my skin tone, the accent I have ( that it totally a product of my education and environment in a Midwestern state and has little or nothing to do with ethnicity), and the fact that I’m in an interracial marriage, I think the appearance of colored contacts would look as if I’m trading in my blackness. Sounds like a lot for a colored contact to do, but it’s how I feel.

We all judge each other. We can pretend to be perfect and pretend that we actually measure people by the content of their character, but the truth is that you do look at people and your brain—whether you are party to it or not—does make decisions for you based on how people look. You can look at someone and your instinct will tell you whether or not you should trust them let alone speak to them. Your instinct is set into motion by your brain sizing up that person’s appearance.

I admit that when I see Tyra Banks, who I adore, with her blonde weave and colored contacts, I tsk and bristle at the root behind that look. Tyra has admitted that to be successful in her industry, many times she had to appeal to White/Majority senses. The Blonde haired, blue eyed, well shaped woman is at the top of the visual appeal totem pole for all intents and purposes. We can dismiss that all we want, but magazine sales and box office returns tell us differently. Blondes have more fun, they say. Ditsy or not, Pamela Anderson, Marilyn Monroe and all the other “bombshells” appealed to America’s ideal of beauty.

It’s not my ideal. I happen to find beauty in every woman. I think hips add character. I think a roll or two after childbirth is a battle wound that I’m proud to have. It gives you membership to a club of millions to not fit into a size 2 and the size 14s on the other side are very welcoming. But make no mistake, there is a standard and it’s not typically ethnic and it’s not typically any dress size in double digits.

So already, I’m against the grain of the Majority beauty standards. Where I do fit is within my own community. Being overweight isn’t a cause for ridicule. Well, it is and we tease each other plenty, but that’s in the family jokes. In the Black community, it’s well known and well documented that our teens don’t face the same issues of appearance that White/Majority teens experience. We don’t have the same rates of eating disorders. Where I see my overweight Caucasian friends fearing they will never find a life partner because of their size, my Sistas don’t feel that weight will prevent them from finding love. For them, it’s that someone will love ALL of them, including the rolls and cellulite, which by the way I’m not sure if that’s a problem for most of us or if that’s just a White thang. For the same reason that little moles on your face as you age isn’t a problem for Whites as it is for Black women, there are some differences in our ethnic make up.

But back to the original issue…from the time I was a child up to today, I’ve felt very much as if I was straddling two different worlds, one black and one white. Certain attributes of mine put me apart from both worlds. My interests, my diction, my culture and most importantly my choices in mate are all viewed and judged by both worlds. If I were to run out and get Blue contacts, I think my sistas would view me as a Black woman that doesn’t want to be black. Maybe if I went natural with my hair I could make the contacts work.

All of this is far too much thinking about what others think and as Oscar Wilde once wrote, “You’ll think a lot less of what people think of you when you realize how seldom they do”. The truth is that people might not even notice the change in my eye color and others simply won’t care. It’s not them I’m worried about because as grown as I am and as self assured as I am, I want to be accepted and I want to be liked. I admit it.

I don’t want to put distance between myself and my Sistas because we are one and we are far more united than what I see amongst Majority women. When we show up in a meeting at work and there is another Sista there, there is a nod (The Nod, to be written about later, stay tuned) and a look that we give each other that says so many things but most importantly it says “Thank God you’re here. I know what you’ve been through to get here, girl. I got your back”. I don’t want to lose that from a first impression.

So to me, it’s about way more than just appearances. Putting on a set of contacts is something that makes me feel like I AM turning my back away from my culture and away from the perfection that God has already made and thus approved of. Who am I to mess with God?

The Eagle has landed.

My heroes are Black women. It's very simple to me. My heroes are those whose story I can relate to and understand and feel in the depths of my soul. I've finally reached a stage where I'm no longer to speak my truth for fear of repercussions.

For the past 7 years, I've been a member of several online message board user groups. I've always been the lone African American woman or in a major minority where numbers are concerned, therefore, some of my views that would come as second nature to many that look and think like me, were foreign to others. They met my opinions with opposition and disdain.

I've been called names. I've been set up in elaborate hate scams meant to demoralize me and undermine my person. I've been villified, all because I enjoy speaking on topics of race and don't shy away from a debate about those issues.

An example, on one board that will remain without description, there are members that have specific health issues. In their regular postings, they often post on topics related to these issues and others that interest them specifically and on more personal levels. There are political activists that make no bones about sharing their opinions about the current state of American politics, yet when a subject even remotely mentions culture or race and I respond, I'm often labeled as "looking" for a fight or playing race cards and any number of things meant to stop me in my tracks from further inciting thought into their minds. Basically, it's perfectly fine for anyone BUT me to speak to topics that interest me that deal with race and ethnicity.

On these boards, we all focus on topics that interest us. What people fail to realize is that while their interest might be in politics or education and they are free to roam and post and discuss their opinions on those, for some reason, they don't extend that same kindness to me on topics of cultural issues. It stands to reason, if it is ok for you to discuss topics that you have knowledge of and that interest you, then its ok for me to do the same and these are the topics that interest me.

They use terms like White guilt and make it my fault they have it. I certainly don't intend for that to happen because as a goal, I want to bring cultures closer together. I want to remove barriers. The only way to do that is to acknowledge they exist and brick by brick, dismantle them.

I recently watched a televised service from T.D. Jakes, a pastor of a mega church. An African American pastor of a mega church. He was on mission in Africa and his words touched me so profoundly that they have changed the way I see myself and in turn how I react to people online.

His analogy was this...( a synopsis from Guitargirl_07)There was a baby eagle that hadn't learned to fly. It's mother had died before she could teach it. This baby eagle had stumbled out of it's nest and fell into a chicken coop. It started hanging around with all these chickens. It started acting like a chicken, walking like a chicken, and talking like a chicken. It thought it was a chicken...until one day. The wind started to blow and the eagle lifted it's wings and found it could fly! It soared a little way and then landed again. It looked up at the sky and then looked back at the chickens and said, "See ya!" That eagle learned that it wasn't a chicken. When it was hanging around the chickens, it looked funny..it moved funny..it felt out of place. It wasn't like the chickens. You've been walking with the chickens. You've been acting like the chickens. You've been talking like the chickens. The reason you don't fit in is because you ain't a chicken! You're an eagle! You were born to be different..you were born to soar!


These words touched me and made so much sense to me. I've been clucking my ass off and I'm done clucking, for I am not a chicken. I'm a eagle and I'm about to soar.

Am I not a woman?

Today, I have created a new blog. This is the blog that I will use to expound on my political and cultural beliefs. This is my beef center, my center, period. This is my truth.

I love to talk and I love to debate. More than anything, I love reaching out to people, to feel connected. I'm like you. I want to be heard and to be spoken to. I want to be listend to and I want to learn to listen better.

My ideals are to live in a world that is NOT colorblind or gender neutral, but that is one of respect for our fellow citizens. One in which we can each one, teach one and lean on each other in times of need and celebrate in times that we should.

Many people will agree with my perspectives, but still more will not understand them. I'm ok with that.

Over the next few weeks, I will be adding more blog entries from other blogs and adding new ones daily to keep my mind clear and keep you abreast of my thoughts. I could say, "It's not as if anyone cares," but I believe there are people that do. I want to connect with those people.

Our world is in need of change and we are the music makers, my friends. We are the ones to bring about change. Let it begin with me, I say proudly and let it begin now.

On with the show.