Clearly, it's been a week.

It all started out fine, I guess...in the message board realm. No real wars. Well, until I stumbled back to a familiar stomping ground that is. Why I returned is something only a really bad therapist would answer.

I poked around the political threads, saw that a guy pal of mine joined in on a few pertinent topics while I was "away" and I added my own spin on the spin. This is the purpose of aforementioned message boards; to put your spin on some previous spin. That's what we do.

Some go to fight. Some go to talk. Some go to "make friends"...and for those sorry lots, bars are cheaper and the friends longer lasting. Mind you, read that sentence again. You don't go to a board to make a friend. It's the silliest thing to do in the world. What you will find is people you agree with, people you don't and those that agree with you ( altogether different than you agreeing with them--yes, you had to be there) and even those that will not, could not, in a house, with a mouse no matter what.

So when I see the topic of "What is assimilation", an alarm goes off in my head. You see, I've known this particular group for 3 years. We've been up and down every side of every story every which way but loose...and we still end up on boards together. There is something sick about that because most of us don't particularly like each other. Second alarm. Now...with the alarms already going off, I should run. I should head for a place where I know I won't have these conversations, and where I know I won't feel compelled to state exactly how I feel, where I can pre-type the replies to each of my posts hours before it pops into the heads of "some" because it's a subject I've covered again...again and again.

I'll pull out the Anti-Racist links. I'll pull out the Tim Wise articles because I know that people, well, some people respond better to hearing the exact same thing that comes out of my mouth when it comes from a White person's mouth. This is because the filters they use to listen to me are not alerted or turned on when they hear that other speaker. With me, they see my avatar a mile away. They know what I'm going to say and I know what they are going to say...so we dance.

Now, we all know my biggest peeve is lumping and labeling. It's not ok to say ALL White people or ALL Black people or ALL Hispanic people or Asian people especially since with the latter you are talking about MANY millions of people from DIFFERENT countries that speak different languages from even each other..yet we toss them into those comfy little boxes so our brains can digest them more easily. Making someone more palettable. No, I don't know how to spell that and spell check irritates me, so it won't happen.

So..I chime in. I urge myself and plead with myself to be patient. I beg and reason with myself to not give it straight no chaser but to say it softly...but that's just not me. I am straight no chaser. Hard up, against the wall, with a pillow. No, not dirty talk..get a bartender's guide and your mind out of the gutter. But, I digress.

My two cents was this: Assimilation is not insisted upon, it's forced. It's not assimilate to "MY" culture ( not meaning me MY )because I explain that culture has not yet been created. We're only so many years old. It's just not there. Even Apple pie and baseball cannot be claimed by us. Culture is expected but impossible is where I go. I persist. I say it's forced upon all of us. People will look at their neighbors that practice voodoo and scream change, CHANGE! or you cannot stay here...you most certainly cannot be American. These same neighborly neighbors will not stop at a library to read about voodoo....they will not learn that it's Christianity in another guise. They will call out aninal sacrifice as cruel and inhumane. Well, that's why they are animals, not humans. Sorry Peta friends. We eat chicken in drive thrus. We consume more beef than ANY place on the planet. We eat our animal sacrifices too. Just because we don't watch the slaughter video does not mean we are holier than thou. It means we are dumb. It means we are hypocrites.

I move on from my perspective..and no, I didn't lay it out like that above at all. I was a bit soft and it was solely an African American slant. Then...I took notice of the "new" forum. 25 new topics in a new forum called "Illegal Immigration"...are you kidding me? And they want to talk Assimilation with ME? LMAO!

The main arguments in the I.I. forum have been the same we hear on O'Reilly...I'm not allowed to watch anymore because he does horrible things to my blood pressure. A good Liberal would sue him. A good Republican ( oxymoron ) would simply urge their constituents to pass their new law, pushed and financed by their friends at so and so lobbying group so that O'Reilly can't air because he would be declared Anti-American and Anti-Patriotic for raising my blood pressure. Sure it sounds far-fetched...but I bet you don't believe they are holding American born Muslim citizens that happened to have Arabic last names in Gitmo either? Heck, for that matter...they don't care if they are Arab or not, Muslim is enough to condemn under this admin...but I digress AGAIN.

So I start talking about BWalters and the View and the touching of Black women's hair. It leads me to "professional" standards of beauty which turns into Eurocentric beauty ideals. I point out the very ways we force people to assimilate, not into American culture or into America as a nation, but into White culture and into close enough White folks in order to be acceptable. Of course, that's discounted. Who would believe such a thing? I'm called a racist several times. It matters not that I call no one else a racist and use the word on rare occasions so not to diminish it's power when it is used. I'm not judging White people because I said White in a sentence. But then...there's that Illegal Immigration thread. Yes...let's talk assimilation.

So I leave the post and head to the II forum. There I find a new argument over border patrol that shot an alleged drug smuggler but have now been convicted of crimes for not following border patrol procedures and for trying to cover up their crime. The thread creator first goes on the attack..."we have to stop illegals because they are all drug smugglers." Remember..I said White in a sentence. I point out the flaws in the argument. I also point to the fact that the border patrol involved have Hispanic last names...which doesn't neccessarily lend itself to their being Hispanic, but it's a decent conclusion. So there goes the "They are all drug smugglers" argument. They broke the law in shooting this guy. I don't want a drug smuggler here anymore than anyone else. So use the law to send his ass packing. The law. The very same law the agents should have been using. End of that thread.

Next comes the Cynthia McKinney story and a video about young Black girls and their ideas of beauty. In the C.M. story, the conservative spin is that she had racists and anti-semites on staff and they said anti-semitic words, loudly I might add and in front of a camera to someone. I never figured out who and it doesn't matter. To counter the story, a man that works in talk radio and worked on staff is there to talk about the brew haha--nope, didn't spell that right either. Coz is all I recall of his name. Coz was let go because McKinney did not succeed in her bid for her seat in the House. The staff was fired in a few shifts rather than all at once. Smart move. Some one has to pack. HELLO! McKinney is no stranger to news...recall the incident of her hitting a security guard on the Hill when he denid her admission to the building because he didn't recognize her new hair style..something I will discuss later about African American women, our hair and the way it's perceived by "some". She also stood alone in voting against the war in Iraq.

So, Coz explains that McKinney is not a racist, she is not an anti-semite, though she has been vocal in saying the US needs to stop supporting Israel now in this Lebanon thing. BTW--I agree. And no, I'm not an anti-semite and have removed my own mother from a family outing for saying such remarks that my children could hear about her Jewish ex-Dh. I simply do not tolerate intolerance. Whatever that makes me, it makes me.

Hannity--Coz is on Hannity and Colmes goes after the guy and asks why McKinney hasn't apologized for the remarks. Ummm...because she didn't say them and fired the guy that did. Fired the Black man that did. So much for that racist thing too. Well, the title of the thread was Cynthia McKinney is an Anti-Semite and fires a Jewish staffer. I said this all in the wrong order. Bear with me. I'm tired and under medicated. The thread starter posted an interview that came AFTER the Coz interview ( hmm..maybe I was doing this in chronological order, yes, that's the ticket)..so in the interview with the Jewish staffer he says that he doesn't believe Cynthia McKinney is anti-semitic and has never heard her say anything that would lead him to believe that. His bone of contention is that he was fired the day after he requested a Jewish Holiday off. That's his issue. Umm...he's an idiot. She fired her WHOLE STAFF! That would include him. If it happened to fall on a holiday, why would she want to pay anyone for an additional day they were taking off? Made no sense. I posted the Coz interview to rebutte the Jewish staffer fired premise.

So...moving forward by a day. There is another drama going on but I will spare the details. In the thread that features the video with the young Black girls, a 16 year old--as this is her production-- recreates the Clarke study that was done for the Brown vs. Board of education case 30 some odd years ago. She has 21 children, all African American I believe, and she tests them with two idential dolls, except for the fact that one was Black and the other White.

My heart broke when a 5 year old was interviewed. "Which doll is the nice doll"...the little girl picks up the White doll with glee, positive she has the right answer. Next question, "Which doll is the pretty doll", again, she picks up the White doll. Now...my heart sinks...I know what is coming and I've been a 5 year old little Black girl in America. The interview continues, "Which doll looks most like you," the little girl hesitates and struggles with her choice. She politely puts the White doll back down and looks at the Black doll, her eyes veering from the floor to the doll as she puts off the inevitable. "This one,"she says and she nudges the doll forward, not even wanting to pick it up. But that doll is her...and she knows that. I'm watching a little girl's first awareness that she isn't permitted to love herself and it tore me up.

I'm jolted back into reality by the posts that follow. Now, a few people on this board are NOT just permissive of White privilege. Not only do they not scream when I bring it up, but over the past 3 years, they have learned a great deal about it and about themselves and they make real attempts to be aware of the things that go on around us. I'm fully aware that these types of people are not a majority in this country. When the question of race ( a social construct, so far better to just say ethnicity) comes up, I have to endure the "ahh, the race card again" or "Why do we always have to talk about race" or "Who cares about race, it's 2006"..or my personal faves, "My great great grandparents immigrated here..they didn't own slaves and I don't owe you anything." Well, of course no one owes me anything. I'm pretty darn self sufficient and aware of the fact that class wise, I live better than the majority. I don't apologize for that and I don't expect anything.

But what I would like is understanding. It goes a long way. Rather than throw up those same lame tired unquotables, try a new twist at keeping White privilege alive or just wake up to it and be a part of something that levels the playing field for all so you don't have to feel as if you got where you are with no effort on your part. I never try to minimize an individual's work or progress by mentioning White privilege. Not ever. But I want them aware that in the same regard that they get certain things they aren't even aware of simply for being the ethnicity they are, there are others still that are purposefully and lawfully restrained simply for being the ethnicity they are. It's not fair that I've had to work twice as hard, for twice as long to get as far...but I was raised knowing I would have to. I don't "whine" about it, because like I said..I'm better off than the next. But I just want us to all be upfront about what's real here and what's not. No, great grand parents may not have taken part in slavery...but did they assimilate, assume the prejudices of another to blend and then accept White privilege and leave their own Italian, Irish, Welsh or what have you culture behind to be White? If so, yes, then they are part of the problem and not the solution.

I don't want guilt either. People on that board felt that some times I implied they should have "White guilt". Now, that's a new one for me. WTF is that? I've certainly never seen this in action and half of my family is White by birth and the other half now by marriage. Come on! No, I'm not pushing guilt. It's not productive. It serves no one. I want no part in that. I want part of solutions. I want part of acknowledgement. I want our differences to be not tolerated but accepted. I deserve that. Not simply because of my work and my laurels but because my Native American and African ancestors toiled their lives away without compensation and saw unheard of criminal acts and crimes against humanity that someone most certainly DID participate in...and in doing so, thus created a system by which their descendants could also profit from that toil of the slave and the disconnect of humanity, divided into social constructions of race. Yep..you are damned right. Go deep, do long, do what you gotta do but get on board.

Because here's the thing...we aren't going anywhere. There aren't many left, but my Native family is still here. My African family is still here. My Irish family is still here. We aren't going to leave and we aren't taking anymore free boat rides, so people have to get over this thing of living apart without each other. We can't do that. One better, the borders will never be strong enough to keep the original inhabitants of this land away from it. Ever. The Mexicans are coming folks. It's wise to embrace them. It's wise to mark your calendars because the date will come when the population will shift..and alas, that fear I spoke about for so long on so many boards will be realized...I think that fear is this..."Once we are a minority, will the old minorities treat us the way we treated them". I think that's the real thing on Illegal immigration. I've watched that bad boy come to pass in Texas.

On many other boards I have said that brown people and black people have a common place in the soul of mankind and in God's heart. This I know to be true. Once we all figure it out, we'll be that much better and that much stronger for it. Think of voting. Think of putting our candidates where we want them and electing them into the highest offices in the country. Think of the schools being equal from neighborhood to neighborhood. Think of children that speak 2 languages naturally and then can embrace a 3rd before high school and yet another in college..as those are requirements now. We can put America back into her place as first in every field if we so desire. We can do that with our hands, fingers laced one with another, working for the same goal. We can do it all and show people how it should have been all along.

Then we can answer that fear and say with much conviction, "Hell no...we would never treat people the way we have been treated because we know what that can do to a peoples."