Seeking Balance...at the Oscars?

Um, Ok. But the show did feel balanced to me. Nothing was jaw dropping shocking. Nothing was offensive. It can be done. WHO KNEW? Well, I had high hopes.

I was glad that Ellen was hosting it. Sometimes you can't stop the flow of the positive and she has that written all over here. Contrast with Rosie O'Donnel...and NO, not because they are both lesbians, but because they are both solo ( one former, now doing panel) talk show hosts that started as comedianes and ventured into acting and had to come out at what seemed initially like the height of their fame. For both, it ended up working out better and giving them both a springboard to really soar. Problem is, only one is doing that.

Now, I apologize for the gay woman to gay woman comparisons. I hate it when people do that to Black people...which is why I was clear that it wasn't because they were gay, but neither of them are Oprah so ya know, the comparisons end there. They happen to rank right next to each other in social stratusphere and they ain't Oprah, though I admit to have enjoying Rosie's magazine better than O. Rosie's was more middle of the road, middle class, multi-ethnic. Oprah's was and still is engineering something more which is fine. I'm just not under any illusions about how people make money and advertising. Ok...an example: Oprah has a list of her favorite things in every issue. I'm not sure if the lounge wear that was recently on her show appears in this month's issue or not, but likely it does. Oprah thinks its comfy and revolutionary and I'm sure it is. It's pima cotton and some lycra to hold ya in. What woman wouldn't love that? Well....one that doesn't want to spend more than $100 to lounge.

$100 isn't much money. I'm really not the one to diss someone about $100 because I can drop that in the airport bookstore and usually do. My issue is that here we have a woman that is literally saving the world. I'll defend Oprah until the cows come home and again when the bitties leave because I know my progression as a person has been enhanced simply because she exists. She's a gift in my life. Trust that I know that. BUT, and I sure hate to put a but in any sentence because I know it nearly dismisses everything you just said...not my point, BUT so you have an audience...you promote literacy....market that magazine to the AVERAGE woman. She's not paying $200 for a bath sheet. She is putting her kids through school and most mothers will do for everyone else before themselves anyway so if you are going to urge them to do for themselves, to treat themselves, you can't take from the family's bottom line. It's not logical and people need to quit lying to Oprah: read Gayle as she runs the magazine and telling them that it's selling at it's best and reaching the right demographic.

How many Latino women read O? I mean, READ! And buy the things in it? How many average, everyday African American women read O? The truth is that dentists offices and White women of another income bracket are the top target in that magazine. How do I know? The ads still don't feature many women that look like me. Though I can afford things that are O's favorite things and I happen to love to shop, there has to be a balance. I have enough "stuff". I don't need it just because someone that I admire says it's her favorite thing. Perhaps she would benefit from learning about some of mine.

And what, praytell, are my favorite things?

Well, I do happen to love the song "My favorite things" from the Sound of Music. I'm not embarrassed by that. I think it was 3rd grade summer play that I performed that one. Had to be because I was back in Louisiana for 4th grade and 5th grade was in Minnesota in all district chorus.Digressing...the list:

My favorite things:

1) My Mini-Mes. The most intelligent, compassionate and beautiful 3 and 6 year olds I know.
2) Driving down Mama's street and seeing her sitting on the porch when I go back home.(Note: My grandmother, Mama, is somewhere west of central sometimes. She has a tree garden. Yes, a tree garden. She takes things and recycles them ( my phrasing) and plants things in them and hangs them on a tree in her yard so she can look at them while she sits on the porch. She makes bird feeders out of 2 liter containers, which is normal enough...but Chitlin buckets? Um yeah. Mama uses Chitlin buckets to make planters. Nothing like coming down to street in a cab and saying, "It's the house with the red chitlin buckets in the tree". Oooh I love my family. LMAO! But hey, this is the woman that raised me. If she wants to make planters out of chitlin buckets, go'head on Mama. It's your world.
3)Laughing with my girls..my crew. All over the world...whether it's online, on the phone, over dinner, I love that we hit our essence the minute we hear the sound of each other's voice and stay in step until we part.
4) Fresh sheets. Be it sheets of paper (because I happen to love new notebooks...LOVE!) or freshly laundered lavendar scented bed linens, 800 thread count or higher, I love sheets. It doesn't HAVE to be Egyptian cotton because most of that doesn't even come from Egypt ( giggles)...it could be sheets from ANY nation but keep that thread count up and I'm a happy camper sliding around.
5) A cd that I can listen to front to back and again that satisfies my soul. It can even be a compilation of old and new and I like that even more. I remember spending ages trying to find a version of Shirley Ceasar singing "I won't be back" because it reminded me of one period in life that was rough for my mother as she went through her first divorce from my father. She and I would sing gospel in the car and I loved those rides. Had nothing to do with destination, as much of the good in life doesn't. It was all about the journey. We would take turns leading and doing back up on "Jacob's Ladder"--don't really recall the name of the song but she had a voice then...and her heart was in it. That was 6 weddings ago for her. I would love to see her find that again. She hasn't been single since she was 15 so her heart is spread across too many valleys now and she has to go back and patch it back together. Bionic, but it works. It can be done. That I know for sure.
6)Walking into a room wearing crisp white. I don't know why, but I love that. Whether I do it or someone else, I just smile and feel joy. I'm so simple.
7) The human spirit. See, I cry easy. It doesn't take much. I can watch a movie and when two characters hit upon the essence of the human spirit, I lose it. When I am out and about and I see the random goodness in people, even if it's a man extending his arm to help a child that has fallen get up or a woman smile at another woman, not jealous or sizing her up, I just see something in that. It's love, it's hope, it's wonderment, it's kindness given freely without thought.

There are so many more and perhaps I will continue and make that an ongoing process to this site, but as usually, I'm digressing from the point. It's my blog. I can. Random. Like me.

In summary, Ellen did a great job hosting last night. The show flowed well. She really did honor all the people present and watching and the best line of the night was when she said "If there were no gays, no Jews and no Blacks, there would be no Oscars." You got that right! But more, there would be no us. There would be no world. We're all essential to the functioning of this place. Even those that would make the rise unpleasant serve a purpose. They give us the markers for our own progress. They give us a grain to go up against. They are essential to our essence.

After all the hell my father put me through, I cannot ever curse the day he was born because he happens to have been at trial I needed in life. He wasn't the thorn on this rose, he was the watering. Essential to my growth. For awhile, I calloused under his abuse. I know I did. I'm even thankful for that because now that I know what my worst looks like, I know how to shine as my best.

Eddie Murphy didn't win last night. There are no coincidences. Alan Arkin has been working for 40 years and done some remarkable work in his life. It was his time. For some reason, I think Eddie Murphy will be even better after this and an Oscar forthcoming someday. But see, he has "enough". I hope he realizes that. If anything, I hope Eddie looks at his last release, Norbit and says, what could I have done better that would generate an outcome that measures my work amongst my peers? Norbit wasn't it. Norbit was insulting and demeaning and I don't care how much self esteem the woman had...there are things we just don't do yet and cannot do yet until we are all looked at from the same view finder. Oh, it was comedy and well received by "certain" audiences...but where is the heart in that? I don't find that audience laughing at a large Black woman funny...wait, a loud, large and abusive Black woman. We are more than that. We are better than that. Come again!

I think the rest of the Oscars went to all the right people for all the right work...but Jennifer Hudson oversang and outshined Beyonce something fierce. I almost felt bad until I thought about the fact that Beyonce is "Pimping all over the world". She can't be touched and that was one night and it was Jennifer's night. See...we ARE better than that. Funny thing...the irony, juxtapose the lead female character from Norbit to Effie. Grace and heart can go a long, long way.

Martin Scorcese was honored by his peers. Helen Mirren was hailed as a sex symbol, that she is and one helluva actress. She's been doing this foreva. About time, I say. She earned this in Excalibur and I was a kid back then. Forest Whitaker was the King of the night though. I usually skip the last 3 big awards and go to sleep because they are usually no brainers. To be honest, these were no brainers too, but I needed to watch. This man has limitless talent and always has. After the Crying Game, he kinda drifted under the radar with much of Hollywood so they actually believe this was some sort of comeback. Note to HW--he never stopped working. Successful people usually don't.

There was balance behind the podium this year. It came in the form of diversity. Different ethnicities, different vibes, different languages, really different screenplays and ya know what? It worked! Now, if the rest of the world could just catch that vibe perhaps we could all live in some peace with some balance, appreciating each other for our differences rather than just tolerating them. And I guess that would be #8 for me...balance. Balance is one of my favorite things.